we miss u so much and wish u were here love Payge

Happy birthday my beautiful sister 

Happy birthday Kiley love you 

Happy birthday Kiley love you 

I sure hope that's you playing with them :)

kiley we miss you dearly on the day god called u up to the heavens the cartoon SID the science kid was on tv tht triggerd somthing in my mind that god gave us a sign that u passed of SIDS i always wonderd wat u looked like and ive seen u in my dreams alot i cant bear to see mommy and your daddy cry all the time it makes me sad that i cannnot do any thing to help them if i could i would.mommy is pregnat we hope its a girl if it is i will not forget you i will keep you in my memory forever. i hope to see the baby in the kitty costume nana bought u 4 holloween that u could never wear. what also touched me so much is that on your 3rd b-day when we sang the bday song at the end the candel was blown! and i gradutaed 5th grade yesterday and thought of u. and also on easter u  aperd in the pic witch shows you got the bunny!!!! i hope you have a wonderful afterlife kiley ill see you someday.

 

 

Tristan asked me about Kiley and god.I told him he can talk to God and Kiley whenever he wants and that they could hear him.He went to his room told his brother Kaiden to please get out of the room. I peaked in the room .He was kinda hiding by his bed and asking God to please let Kiley come visit us.It was precious!!!!

Today at 12:40 am it was raining hard with lightning and thunder.All of a sudden a big boom hit right outside the window.We heard loud music surrounding her curio cabinet. Let me tell you it was nothing in her curio playing the music!! I believe it was my baby girl saying hi mommy im here! I miss her so much! I often wonder how my life would be if she never went to heaven. I wonder what she would look like ,act like,I wonder if i will ever get a chance to see her again. All I can do is think about her and remember the time I had with her.

WE LITTLE KNEW THAT MORNING THAT GOD WAS GOING TO CALL YOUR NAME, IN LIFE WE LOVED YOU DEARLY, IN DEATH WE DO THE SAME. IT BROKE OUR HEARTS TO LOSE YOU, YOU DID NOT GO ALONE; FOR PART OF US WENT WITH YOU, THE DAY GOD CALLED YOU HOME, YOU LEFT US PEACEFUL MEMORIES, YOUR LOVE IS STILL OUR GUIDE; AND THOUGH WE CANNOT SEE YOU, YOU ARE ALWAYS AT OUR SIDE. OUR FAMILY CHAIN IS BROKEN, AND NOTHING SEEMS THE SAME; BUT AS GOD CALLS US ONE BY ONE, THE CHAIN WILL LINK AGAIN.

5-7-10  TO DAY WE HAD A BIG STORM WITH HEAVY RAIN AND WIND. THEN WE GOT THE LIGHTNING AND THUNDER. AS WE WERE ALL WATCHING T.V. A BIG GUST OF WIND CAME THROUGH THE WINDOW AND ALL OF A SUDEN WE HEARD A MUSIC BOX PLAYING. IT WAS PLAYINGY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FAMILY ROOM. I LIKE TO THINK IT WAS KILEY PEAKING IN ON US.

SISTERS FOREVER TRINITY SAID . EVEN THOUGH KILEYS NOT HERE I STILL HAVE A SISTER. 

APRIL 2010 TRISTAN NOW 3 1/2 LOOKED OUT THE WINDOW AND SAID MOMMY LOOK THERES KILEY , THEN KAIDEN NOW ALMOST 3 LOOKS OUT THE WINDOW AND GOT EXCITED. THEY SHOWED ME A SINGLE BRIGHT STAR IN THE SKY. IT TOUCHED EVERYONE IN THE HOUSE THAT NIGHT. THEN THEY ALL BLEW HER KISSES.

SHORTLY AFTER KILEY PASSED AWAY WE WERE IN THE STORE AND KILEY'S SISTER KIRA POINTED AT A CRIB AND SAID KILEY HAS ONE LIKE THIS . TRISTAN OUR SON WAS ALMOST 2 AT THE TIME GOT SO EXCITED CAUSE HE THOUGHT KILEY WAS IN THERE .MY HEART FELL OUT IT MADE ME SO SAD. TODAY ALL THE KIDS ARE DEALING WITH IT AS BEST AS THEY CAN. THEY STILL CRY EVERYTIME TIME WE PLAY HER SONG.THEY KNOW SHES IN HEAVEN AND EVEYTIME THEY WANT TO GIVE HER A KISS THEY KISS THE CURIO.

KILEY ALWAYS MADE A SOUND WHERE SHE SOUNDED LIKE A LITTLE WHITCH.IT WAS SO CUTE AND FUNNY.

IN THE HOSPITAL WHEN KILEY WAS IN THE NICU WE WERE TOLD FOR MORE BONDIND BETWEEN MOTHER AND CHILD WE CAN KANGAROO . IN MEANING SKIN TO SKIN CONTACT. THEY PUT KILEY INSIDE MY SHIRT. HER LAYING ON MY CHEST HEART TO HEART MADE ME AS HER MOTHER FEEL SO BLESSED.I WILL NEVER FORGET THAT MOMENT.SOMETIMES I CAN ALMOST FEEL HER STILL THERE.

OH DEAR GOD HOW I MISS MY KILEY , MY LOVE, MY LIFE, MY DAUGHTER. I MISS YOU MY LITTLE BUG EYED BABY GIRL. MOMMY'S HEART IS TORN AND BROKEN AND NEVER AGAIN TO BE MENDED, MY HEART WILL ALWAYS BE ACHING FOR YOU MY SWEET LITTLE BABY GIRL. ALL MY DREAMS AND HOPES FOR YOU ARE NO MORE. ONLY A WHAT IF, WHAT WOULD. I CAN ONLY IMAGINE AND WONDER WHAT YOU WOULD BE LIKE AND HOW YOU'D LOOK. MY EYES FILL UP WITH TEARS EVERY TIME I THINK OF YOU.ITS NOT FAIR I CANT HAVE YOU HERE WITH ME. I WONDER WHY ? WHY MY BABY GIRL? SHES MY BABY! I FEEL LIKE IM BEING PUNISHED, BUT I DONT KNOW WHY. IS MY BABY SAFE IS SHE HAPPY? IS SHE BEING HELD? IS SHE BEING LOVED? DOES SHE KNOW I LOVE HER AND MISS HER? GOD IF I ONLY KNEW THE ANSWERS. SOMETIMES I WONDER WHY YOU GAVE ME HER AND THEN TOOK HER AWAY. WHAT DOES IT MEAN? DID YOU NOT KNOW THAT YOUR ACTIONS DESTROYED ME? IT SHATTERED EVERYTHING THAT I AM . I HAVE TO BE STRONG. I KNOW DEEP DOWN IN MY SOUL THERE IS A REASON FOR YOUR ACTIONS. WILL I EVER UNDERSTAND THEM , NO I WONT. ALL I CAN DO IS TRUST IN YOU WILL TAKE CARE OF MY PRECIOUS BABY KILEY AND HOLD HER TIGHT AND MAKE SURE SHE IS LOVED ,AND PLEASE GOD.I BEG OF YOU WITH ALL MY HEART AND SOUL MAKE SURE YOU TELL MY LITTLE BUG EYED BABY GIRL HER MOMMY LOVES HER AND MISSES HER WITH ALL HER HEART.